Keep Going
So yes, I'm back. I have been inactive on Tumblr lately and I've had some people messaging me and sending me asks about whether I'm okay. I am fine, it's just been annoying to go on my computer lately. I also haven't really forgotten about this site, I just stopped wanting to update because I felt bad, for some reason. I'm also not really sure if I have the energy to respond to any messages at the moment. I'll probably go through my inboxes after posting the update here.
it has been basically two months since I gave you guys a proper explanation about everything. I feel like I'm kind of living in my own version of the world, like somehow I'm the only one who has access to things. Like there's this whole other layer of sensation out there and I am cursed with access to it.
I'm usually always at home when I hear the sounds, but the other day I was walking around the block, early in the morning because I like being awake earlier and getting things done, and I heard the sound coming from somewhere to my right, kind of closer than usual but still not close enough to pinpoint. They always sound like they're coming from a different place, though. But this time, it was around 5am, my favourite time to go for a walk. I was walking past the primary school and the sound kind of went off, I stopped in my tracks and let it play out, I spun around slowly to make sure I was alone. It lasted for about five minutes, but as I said time kind of changes, when I hear it. And then it stopped and I noticed my heartrate slowing, realising that I'd been shaking and felt light. I walked home very quickly and dove under my sheets.
It just feels like nothing makes sense anymore. I've had some people tell me that they think something is really wrong with me, deeply wrong and not because of the sound but because I've turned my internet presence into a "joke". I've got nearly 1000 followers on Tumblr and I guess I just realised that maybe many of them follow me because they think what's happened to me is funny.